Happy New Year!
Let's ring in 2015 with a look back at one of the most well known and best loved Sword & Sorcery stories. In the annals of S & S, there are masterworks, such as the Conan the Barbarian stories by R.E. Howard and the Kane the Mystic Swordsman stories by Karl Edward Wagner. And then there is The Eye of Argon:
Although described as the "worst fantasy novel ever," The Eye of Argon is actually a quite serviceable, if derivative, heroic fantasy story. This ripping yarn follows Gringr the Barbarian and his misadventures in the civilized lands and is, in fact, a reasonable pastiche of a Conan story.
However, what puts The Eye of Argon solidly in the "So Bad it's Good" category is Messr Theis' florid choice and misuse of language. Combined with numerous typos and misspellings, the reader can't help but burst out laughing. For example:
The reader can tell Messr Theis understands the basic tropes of S & S. This combines with his misunderstanding of various other things (such as the definition of "slut"), his purple prose, and Theis' obvious enthusiasm and transforms into comedy gold.
Here is one of my favorite parts of the story:
Over the decades, criticism of this story has gone overboard. Messr Theis was 16 years old when he wrote this story. For a fanzine.
I can recall writing some pretty craptastic things at that age, too. His story being continually mocked hurt Theis and he never wrote any more fiction.
As an example of this dogpiling, some people have poked fun at the drawings that were in the original fanzine (that were not even drawn by Theis). However, these illustrations generally aren't that bad for a fanzine:
Especially considering what passed for professional art in Original Dungeons & Dragons:
Both beautifully terrible and terribly beautiful, The Eye of Argon is an inadvertent work of mad genius, a la Plan 9 from Outer Space. Any Sword & Sorcery fan with a sense of humor would be well served to take a look.
新年快樂！
Let's ring in 2015 with a look back at one of the most well known and best loved Sword & Sorcery stories. In the annals of S & S, there are masterworks, such as the Conan the Barbarian stories by R.E. Howard and the Kane the Mystic Swordsman stories by Karl Edward Wagner. And then there is The Eye of Argon:
Although described as the "worst fantasy novel ever," The Eye of Argon is actually a quite serviceable, if derivative, heroic fantasy story. This ripping yarn follows Gringr the Barbarian and his misadventures in the civilized lands and is, in fact, a reasonable pastiche of a Conan story.
However, what puts The Eye of Argon solidly in the "So Bad it's Good" category is Messr Theis' florid choice and misuse of language. Combined with numerous typos and misspellings, the reader can't help but burst out laughing. For example:
The enthused barbarian swilveled about, his shock of fiery red hair tossing robustly in the humid air currents as he faced the attack of the defeated soldier's fellow in arms.
"Damn you, barbarian" Shrieked the soldier as he observed his comrade in death.
The reader can tell Messr Theis understands the basic tropes of S & S. This combines with his misunderstanding of various other things (such as the definition of "slut"), his purple prose, and Theis' obvious enthusiasm and transforms into comedy gold.
Here is one of my favorite parts of the story:
The girl gasped a tortured groan from her clamped lungs, her sea blue eyes bulging forth from damp sockets. Cocking her right foot backwards, she leashed it desperately outwards with the strength of a demon possessed, lodging her sandled foot squarely between the shaman's testicles.
The startled priest released his crushing grip, crimping his body over at the waist overlooking his recessed belly; wide open in a deep chasim. His face flushed to a rose red shade of crimson, eyelids fluttering wide with eyeballs protruding blindly outwards from their sockets to their outmost perimeters, while his lips quivered wildly about allowing an agonized wallow to gust forth as his breath billowed from burning lungs. His hands reached out clutching his urinary gland as his knees wobbled rapidly about for a few seconds then buckled, causing the ruptured shaman to collapse in an egg huddled mass to the granite pavement, rolling helplessly about in his agony.
Over the decades, criticism of this story has gone overboard. Messr Theis was 16 years old when he wrote this story. For a fanzine.
I can recall writing some pretty craptastic things at that age, too. His story being continually mocked hurt Theis and he never wrote any more fiction.
As an example of this dogpiling, some people have poked fun at the drawings that were in the original fanzine (that were not even drawn by Theis). However, these illustrations generally aren't that bad for a fanzine:
Especially considering what passed for professional art in Original Dungeons & Dragons:
Both beautifully terrible and terribly beautiful, The Eye of Argon is an inadvertent work of mad genius, a la Plan 9 from Outer Space. Any Sword & Sorcery fan with a sense of humor would be well served to take a look.
新年快樂！
SC's Parting Shot: 9 of 10
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Nice illos!
"Take this uncouth heathen to the vault of misery, and be sure that his agonies are long and drawn out before death can release him."