Session IX, Part II

At police headquarters, the PCs meet the top detective, the Spymaster:

The Spymaster explains that someone dressed in a cape and cowl caved in the District Attorney's skull with his fists, so their top suspect is the Caped Crusader.  The detective adds that, as part of Gouverneur Trần's stealth repression of the Cham, the DA falsified evidence to wrongfully convict thousands of Cham.  The Spymaster believes the motive is partly revenge and partly because the District Attorney opened an investigation to find the Caped Crusader's true identity.

The Spymaster asks what the PCs know about the Caped Crusader.  When they are vague, the Spymaster becomes angry.  Also assigned to the investigation is Lieutenant Trần, who points out that the District Attorney's murder doesn't fit the Caped Crusader's modus operandi, since it occurred during daylight and in front of witnesses.  The party asks if it's possible that someone is trying to frame the Caped Crusader.  At this point, the Spymaster starts ranting and storms out.

The Lieutenant says that a few years ago, the Spymaster tried to arrest the Caped Crusader but was easily beaten to a pulp.  Ever since, the Spymaster has become obsessed with getting even.  Underneath the mask, he looks like this:

[OOC] S says, "Gee, can't they use some healing magic?"

[As DM] I say, "No, he's on full points.  Everything is fully functional."

[OOC] K says, "How about some Iron Age cosmetic surgery?"


As they are leaving police headquarters, the PCs spot Father Wolfwood, who says he was supposed to meet the District Attorney regarding the disappearance of six 16 year old girls.  This, of course, immediately grabs their interest and when the party inquires further, the Inquisitor says that, when Brock Samson flipped out and massacred fifty people in an orphanage, fifty-six people should have been there.  This leaves six bodies unaccounted for, all of them 16 year old girls.

[As Nausicaä] S says, "Well, Brock Samson is a powerful guy.  Is it possible that you, you know... miscounted?"

[As Father Wolfwood] I say, "Hmm… one or two bodies, maybe, but six is unlikely."


The PCs ask Father Wolfwood what he thinks the possible disappearance of six 16 year old girls means, but he's at a loss.  As they are heading back to their hotel room, they think they see the wiry guy again, but he's gone in a flash.

When they return to their hotel room, the party finds a note from the Marquis de Picard  saying to meet at the hotel bar in the evening.  In the meantime, to get some more backup, the PCs pick up Subotai from the spa.

After Picard fails to show up for the appointment, they head to the Marquis' hotel room.  After nobody answers the door, the PCs enter and find signs of a struggle.  Seems like Picard was kidnapped by someone or something that entered and left from the window.  Investigating further, they find references that Picard had hired someone to investigate "The Fire of Asshurbanipal".

Movie Review: Legend of Lemnear (1987)

A somewhat forgotten gem, Legend of Lemnear is one of the earliest anime entries in the Sword & Sorcery genre and it holds up as breezy fun despite the decades.

Legend of Lemnear is a ripping Sword & Sorcery yarn wherein the titular protagonist seeks vengeance against the evil wizard who slaughtered her family and city.  There are strong parallels to Taarna the Taarakian warrior from the Heavy Metal film, except that Lemnear starts off as a stone cold badass and stays that way for the entire film.

As you might expect from an original animated video (OAV) with a runtime of only 45 minutes, the plot is thin and there are some noticeable holes.  However, this failing is not uncommon for anime from the 80s.  Much better are the animation and the character designs, which are also a product of the time (mullets ahoy!), but have aged reasonably well.  Most importantly, like any good S&S story, the pacing is quick, the action is fast and furious and there's noticeable appreciation of the female form.  

As a Hard "R", obviously Legend of Lemnear isn't for little kids or prudes.

However, as female protagonists go, Lemnear is pretty damn awesome: she doesn't take crap from anyone, she's the best fighter in the story and she saves the day.

That puts her in pretty rare company and she precedes Lina Inverse by two years.

This movie is also pure metal!  From the hard rock soundtrack to the copious amounts of violence to the big hair, Legend of Lemnear cranks the amps up to 11 and doesn't stop until the movie ends with a giant explosion.  The visuals are fantastic (pun intended) and, unsurprisingly, the villain has a giant floating castle shaped like a skull!  How cool is that?

If you're the sort of person who is offended by chainmail bikinis, this is not the movie for you.   If you're the sort of person who can't tell the difference between High Fantasy and Sword & Sorcery, this movie may not be for you.   However, if you're the sort of person who wants to see what a Frank Frazetta painting would look like as a fun, roaring anime adventure, Legend of Lemnear is well worth your time!

SC's Parting Shot: 7 of 10

Session IX, Part I

For the last session, I credit the PCs with experience for one major achievement:

• solving the mystery of the Baroness' disappearance.

In my campaigns, Player Characters exist in a quantum state, based on Player availability.  Consequently, since D couldn't make Session IX but K could, Lorenzo simply disappears and Zakalwe pops up.  As a lazy DM, I don't bother with an explanation.

The exploding jar of Greek Fire fills half the room with flames as a horde of ghouls rush in!

Drawing the Sword of Glory, Sister Aleena charges forward to meet the wave of undead, as does Brock Samson.  Despite their valiant efforts, three ghouls break past the defensive perimeter and run toward the PCs!


Blind Nausicaä notices that Lieutenant Trần has let go of her hand and Zakalwe sees the young officer draw his sword, as the PCs realize that the revenant, freed from the possessed magic-user, is now mind controlling the Gouverneur's son!

[OOC] K says, "Gee, we might accidentally extinct the Gouverneur's entire bloodline."


Zakalwe yells to Nausicaä to hit the deck as he runs to intercept the three ghouls, who are focused on  charging the sightless magic-user.

Lieutenant Trần prepares to gut Nausicaä… and rolls a critical failure, dropping his sword!

Zakalwe cuts down a ghoul, taking a couple hits in return but makes his Save versus Magic.

Ghoul #1 is slain!


[OOC] S says, "Can I use the wand to try to banish the revenant?"

[As DM] I say, "Yes, but remember that you're blind, the wand is flammable and half the room is on fire."


Nausicaä doesn't connect with the wand but doesn't burn it either.  Meanwhile, Zakalwe dispatches another ghoul without being paralyzed.

Ghoul #2 is slain!


Retrieving his sword, Lieutenant Trần laughs evilly… and crit fails twice in a row, dropping his weapon again!  In the same round, Zakalwe decapitates the third ghoul.

Ghoul #3 is slain!


Thereafter, banishing the revenant is fairly straightforward.  Immediately, the PCs begin looting the place, finding some Dust of Disappearance.

[As DM] I say to S, "I also came up with a custom magic item for you, the Rod of Sex Panther!"

[OOC] S says, "*WHAT*?!?"

[OOC] K says to S, "He's been watching a lot of Anchorman lately."

Also among the sarcophagi in the room, the party finds the Baroness, though they regret freeing her as she's supremely ungrateful and immediate begins getting on their nerves.  They manage to resist the temptation to murder her.  Barely.


Upon returning to Buôn Ma Thuột, Nausicaä visits Ye Olde Magick Shoppe and trades the Rod of Sex Panther for a Wand of Empathy (another custom magic item I make up on the spot) and Potions of Spider Climb and Underwater Breathing.

More importantly, the PCs send a raven to Gouverneur Trần, who's on the border staring down the Khmer army but the Gouverneur keeps her word and writes back, giving her approval for building the coliseum.  Thus, Papa Midnite agrees to not murder the PCs.

[OOC] K says, "Well, at least one less person is trying to kill us."


When the party drops off Brock Samson at the insane asylum, they think that they catch a glimpse of a wiry guy in a velvet suit:

[OOC] K says, "Wait a minute!  I've seen that guy before, right?"

[As DM] I say, "… maybe?"


A few days later, the police request that the PCs come down to headquarters.  Someone has brutally beaten the District Attorney to death!

Video Game Review: The Return of Heracles (1983)

In the halcyon days of the 1980s, there were few computer roleplaying games (CRPGs) that weren't derivative of Tolkien and/or Dungeons & Dragons.  Fewer still sought to provide any kind of educational value for their players.  One of few CRPGs that excelled in both areas was The Return of Heracles by Stuart Smith.

Set in Bronze Age Greece and based on some the most famous tales from Greek mythology, in The Return of Heracles the player(s) assume control of one or more legendary or historical heroes, including Achilles, Jason, and mighty Heracles! Tales of these mighty men and women (and animals) have thrilled audiences for millennia, including myself.  In grade school, I read the fantastic D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths many, many, many times at the local library.

In order to win the game, the player(s) must complete a dozen tasks which, as one might expect from the title, are drawn mostly from the Labors of Heracles, but also include other classics from Greek mythology, such as solving the Riddle of the Sphinx and retrieving the Golden Fleece.  Upon completion, the player receives points (with bonus for speed) and usually gets an in-game treasure, buff or other reward as well.

The game mechanic is simple but straightforward and adds to the breezy fun.  The soundtrack, though technologically an artifact of its day, is apt and evocative.  And, the open sandbox design of the game world avoids railroading, a common problem for many CRPGs even to the present day.

Messr Smith's humor and cleverness are evident throughout The Return of Heracles.  There are 250 NPCs with individual stats, factions and motivations, such as Inebriated Thief and Not-very-smart Thief.   And just walking through a door can be hazardous!

Original, colorful and full of obvious admiration of the source material, this game is a masterwork.  If you're a lover of Sword & Sandal or Greek mythology, The Return of Heracles is perhaps the best CRPG of the era and even if you only have a passing interest, it's worth a look.  So strap on your greaves and hark back to a time when gods and monsters roamed the land.

But do avoid giving an obolus to Charon.

SC's Parting Shot: 10 of 10

Session VIII, Part IV

Leaving Lieutenant Trần outside Hatha with Aleena, Lorenzo and Nausicaä ride up to the outskirts of the rebuilding city with Brock Samson.  As they approach, the PCs are met by the Capitaine of the Garde, who halts his horse at such a distance that the party needs to ride within his archers' bowshot in order to converse.

Undeterred, the PCs move ahead and ask if the Capitaine has seen anyone fitting the descriptions of the possessed magic-user, the hand servant or the Baroness.  The leader of the Garde abruptly says, "No."  The PCs are  unconvinced so they ask if they can enter Hatha.  The Capitaine opens his mouth, looks at Brock Samson, pauses, looks at Brock Samson again, pauses again, and finally says, "Okay."

Inside Hatha, the party sees that, in addition to the militia keeping watch, fixing the walls and training, there are also hundreds of hungry looking and raggedly dressed Cham refugees, who look at the approaching outsiders with suspicion.   The PCs ask to see the Caped Crusader and the Capitaine says he will put in a request and leaves the party to their own devices, albeit under the intense watch of everyone else in the city.

After a couple hours of awkward silence from the Cham, Lorenzo notices a young boy eying his bear meat and offers some.  After the thief rolls a success on his Charisma check, the boy scampers forward and takes the meat, quickly turning and disappearing.  However, soon after, more and more famished refugees come forward and the party readily shares their food.

The PCs hear from their new friends that the Caped Crusader singlehandedly cleared the ruins of Hatha from the hordes of undead by punching them.   Later, the place became an open secret among the Cham as a safe haven and, by ones and twos, they began congregating here.

The next morning, the Capitaine leads the party up the hill to the keep and tells them to wait in the great hall.  It is pitch black.  In the darkness, Brock Samson starts to twitch and then, moments later he starts sweating profusely.

[As Brock Samson] I say, "Umm… I'm not feeling so good."

[As Lorenzo] D asks, "It's okay, you can wait outside, buddy."

After Brock Samson leaves, a growling, barely intelligible voice echoes out from the darkness above the PCs.

[As the Caped Crusader] I say, "SO, YOU ARE THE OUTSIDERS WHO'VE ASKED TO SEE ME?"

[As Lorenzo] D asks, "So, um, is that your natural voice?"

[As the Caped Crusader] I say, "UHHHHH… I'M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE!"

[After a few moments, as Nausicaä] S says, "Do you know that most of your people are starving?"

[As the Caped Crusader] I say, "THEIR SACRIFICE IS DULY NOTED, BUT OUR TOP PRIORITY IS PREPARING FOR THE COMING CONFLICT!"

[OOC] D says, "I don't think this guy is entirely sane."

[OOC] S says, "That seems to be a running theme for possessors of powerful magic artifacts in this campaign."

The Caped Crusader claims to have no knowledge of the possessed magic-user, the hand servant or the Baroness.  Nausicaä tries to guilt trip him, but he's manically focused on preparing his army.

As the party is leaving the keep, they spot their friend and former translator Mary.  She says that she was the hand servant who betrayed the Baroness out of revenge since Trần's mother, the current Gouverneur of the Central Highlands, killed Mary's parents whilst putting down an minor uprising of the Cham, turning Mary into an orphan.  They also find out that the revenant took the Baroness into the ruins of a nearby archmagus' tower.


With this set up, I had to go with the Tower of Zenopus, the sample dungeon from the Holmes Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set:

Written by Dr. J. Eric Holmes, the first Dungeons & Dragons Basic Set is an interesting document.  It's the last hurrah of OD&D, while also presaging the arrival of AD&D, but it's also its own complete game.  As a teaching tool for the time (1977), the Tower of Zenopus has some useful information for rookie DMs and it's a good introduction to dungeon crawling.


Going into the dark, dusty ruins, the party finds a suspiciously brightly lit, clean and richly appointed library with an open spell book on the desk.  Ignoring the warnings, the PCs rush in to loot the place! Nausicaä fails her Save versus Magic and is cursed with magical blindness whilst trying to read the spell book!

[OOC] S says, "Great, so I'm blind?  Can I use a healing potion?"

[As DM] I say, "No, you're on full hit points and the blindness is magical in nature."

The PCs decide to press on since the Baroness will certainly be dead by the time they can remove the curse on Nausicaä.  With Lieutenant Trần leading the greedy but blind sorceress, the party later stumbles into a death trap.  While Lorenzo is trying to figure out the trap, Nausicaä impatiently uses the last charge of the Wand of Passwall to escape.

Eventually, they find the possessed magic-user, who cackles, "It's too late!" right before blind Nausicaä manages to hit him in the face with a jar of Greek Fire!

The possessed magic-user is slain!

Culture: The Hurrian Songs (~1400 BC)

Arguably, the oldest and most universal of all languages is Music.  Even without words, a melody can tell a story and express one's mood and feelings and, since at least 55,000 BC, humans have used Music to signify important moments in life, as well as just help us through the workday grind.  The oldest known musical notation is the Hurrian Songs, a collection of 29 songs inscribed in cuneiform on clay tablets excavated from the ancient city of Ugarit.  Here is a sample of an interpretation of "Hurrian Hymn no.6", aka "h.6":

Amazing!

While we don't know the identity of h.6's composer, by listening to the composition you can still feel what he or she must have been feeling and trying to express all those millennia ago.  That is a pretty impressive achievement in communication.


Try competing with that Social Media!

Although the Hurrian Songs were unearthed in modern Syria, the Hurrians were a Bronze Age people who were originally nomadic wanderers from modern day Anatolia.  At its height, the Hurrian civilization had significant influence throughout large parts of the Fertile Crescent.  However, by the Early Iron Age, other rising powers had mostly assimilated the Hurrians, except for the Kingdom of Urartu in modern day Armenia.

The exact meaning of h.6 is not known, but it is clearly a religious hymn concerning offerings to the goddess Nikkal, wife of the moon god, and meant to be played on a harp or lyre.

So, if you're in the mood for some sweet Bronze Age music, grab your headdress and take a gander at the above video.


You stay classy, Nikkal!

Session VIII, Part III

Nausicaä manages to talk Ranme down by reminding him that the PCs helped out his lizard folk friends in the Borderlands and by telling the semi-mad magician that he's Winning.  Consequently, he releases Lorenzo from the magic net and the latter promptly wakes up.  The Half-Insane Wizard glares at the thief suspiciously for a while but then his attention wanders back to a massive and imposing contraption of glass, metal, tubing and other intricate components in the center of the room.

The above image is, of course, from the classic Dungeons & Dragons adventure I10 Ravenloft II: The House on Gryphon Hill.  While justifiably not as well received as its predecessor, I think that I10 is nevertheless underrated, a new and innovative direction to take a linked D&D module and possessing the same wonderfully creepy atmosphere and an excellent mystery to investigate.  Strahd is still a badass and there's some great advice to DMs about how to tie I6 and I10 together as an ongoing (and challenging!) campaign, where the PCs aren't sure whether Barovia or Mordentshire (or either) are real.


Explaining their situation, the PCs ask Ranme for help with the revenant.  After a moment, he agrees if, in exchange, they will provide a test subject for his experiment, pointing rather too enthusiastically to the apparatus that he is building.  Nausicaä asks about the purpose of the device and Ranme replies that he doesn't know, the design came to him in a dream.

The PCs agree to the somewhat unsound mage's terms but are purposefully vague as to when they will actually provide a test subject.  Ranme doesn't seem to notice and gives them with a wand with one charge that will banish the revenant upon a successful touch, either of the spirit form or as a possessed human.


Next, the party rides out to the spot of Baroness Trần's abduction and meet up with the patrol that is investigating.  The legionnaires say that someone damaged the magic wards from within the camp, allowing the revenant inside.  Lorenzo asks who was traveling with Lieutenant Trần's sister and the patrol replies that the Baroness was accompanied by her bodyguards and her hand servant, a 9 year-old Cham girl from the Borderlands.

[OOC] S says, "Oh no, I know who this is!"

The patrol says that it looks like the revenant possessed the magic-user who killed the other bodyguards, then rode north with the servant and the baroness.  Due to high levels of undead, the legionnaires don't know exactly what's in the vicinity but they've heard rumors that a Cham nationalist, armed with a powerful magic artifact, dressed in a cape and cowl and known only as the Caped Crusader might be in the area.


While heading north in pursuit of the kidnappers, the party has a random encounter during the night.  On watch is Lorenzo, who makes his Spot Check and wakes up Brock Samson just as an unhappy Asian black bear appears!

The Suione Murder Machine yawns, beheads the bear and goes back to sleep, as the terrified thief watches from a safe distance.

The Asian black bear is slain!


Collecting his wits, Lorenzo tells the rest of the party to smoke the bear carcass during their watches and the party continues north carrying hundreds of kilos of bear meat.


Continuing to follow the tracks, as the PCs get closer to the ruins of Hatha, they can tell that they are being observed but are unable to learn more after Lorenzo fails his Hide in Shadows roll!  The party finishes climbing up the plateau and is surprised to see the site re-occupied and being rebuilt.

Lorenzo scouts ahead and, from a safe distance, he can tell that the reconstruction efforts are focused on restoring Hatha's defenses and he sees dozens of scruffy but armed guards atop the walls, intently keeping watch.

[As DM] I say, "Since the Caped Crusader may be around, you might want to leave Lieutenant Trần outside Hatha, as he's a tempting target."

[OOC] D says, "Good point.  Should we leave Brock Samson with the Lieutenant?"

[OOC] S replies, "Are you kidding??  *WE* need Brock Samson in case things go bad in the city!"

Movie Review: The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

Sometimes, when I revisit a fondly remembered film from my youth, said film holds up despite the passage of time.  Sometimes, it doesn't.  The Sword and the Sorcerer falls into the latter category.

Not having seen The Sword and the Sorcerer in decades, I was hoping that this would be a masterwork, ala Conan the Barbarian (1982), even thought all I really remembered was Talon's *THREE* bladed sword, whose parallel blades shoot off!  Woo-hoo!  Seriously, at the time, I thought this sword was one of the coolest things ever.

However, on the re-watch, I found that the poor fight choreography, the preponderance of clichés, the special effects that haven't aged well and the easily correctable script problems were off-putting: For example, it's not spelled out, but Talon banging Princess Alana was probably incest.

Still, to be fair, The Sword and the Sorcerer is certainly not a poor Sword & Sorcery yarn.  I mean, there's a sword (with *THREE* blades!?!) and a sorcerer, can't be much more Sword & Sorcery than that, right?  Plus, it's got a hot princess (the super lovely Kathleen Beller), the requisite gore, violence and nudity for a Hard "R" and a story that zips along and that remains interesting, if sometimes goofy, throughout.

In The Sword and the Sorcerer, evil King Cromwell seeks to conquer the known world by resurrecting Xusia of Delos, an evil archmagus.  Team Evil's path to global domination begins by knocking over the peaceful Kingdom of Ehdan and murdering all of the Ehdanian royal family except for the youngest son, Talon, who gets away with the *THREE* bladed sword.  Then, Cromwell makes the smart play of trying to assassinate Xusia before the sorcerer inevitably turns on him.

Unfortunately, Cromwell mucks up the assassination and Xusia escapes.  Years later, both the surviving wizard and the surviving prince, now a famous mercenary leader, return to Ehdan to seek their vengeance.  The movie ends pretty much as you would expect.

Where The Sword and the Sorcerer is more impressive is how it differs from the host of other post-Conan fantasy action films: drawing much from Errol Flynn swashbucklers, the film laced with humor and Talon is as likely to fire off a quip as swing his sword.  Also, the double villain structure allows for some clever treachery and backstabbing.  And, the princess shows more spunk than the typical helpless damsel, using the patented knee to the balls technique.

Plus, Lee Horsely is a much, much, much better actor than Arnold Schwarzenegger.  For example, Messr Horsely plays Talon with easy wit and good comedic timing.  And director Albert Pyun isn't afraid to go after the laughs either: after the rousing "let's go save our leader" speech in the brothel, the movie immediately jump cuts to the would-be rescuers in the dungeon.  Hi*LAR*ious!

If you're looking for a fun, campy pulp action film and are willing to relax your brain, The Sword and the Sorcerer isn't a bad choice.  Alternately, if you want to see a sword with *THREE* blades, this is the movie for you!

SC's Parting Shot: 6 of 10

Session VIII, Part II

To find out about revenants, the PCs meet up with Father Nicholas D. Wolfwood.  They find the church filled with parishioners praying that a full scale war with the Khmer doesn't break out.  Father Wolfwood says that revenants are spirits of vengeance, basically super powered ghosts who can possess humans.

This, of course, different than by the book Dungeons & Dragons, wherein a Revenant is a generic monster.  I wanted something closer to the actual legends.

The PCs ask if he knows anything about revenant that was stalking the Baroness.  Looking at Lieutenant Trần, the cleric pulls the rest of the party to the side and whispers that there were rumors that the Lieutenant's sister sought intimate relations with a happily married man.  When the man refused, the Baroness kidnapped the man's family and threatened to kill his family if he continued to refuse.

However, after she had her way with the man, Baroness Trần forgot about his family, who died.  In his grief, the poor fellow killed himself, becoming a revenant.

[OOC] S says, "That's understandable."


Nausicaä asks if there's anyway to get rid of a revenant.  Father Wolfwood says reducing a revenant to zero hp will only cause it to disappear for 1d6 hours, so the easiest way to deal with the angry spirit is to address the source of the anger.  Nausicaä says that that's probably not going to happen, so the Inquisitor adds that the right spell can banish a revenant for 1d6 years.  The only person in town who knows this powerful ritual spell is a strange wandering hermit named the Grey Wanderer who is currently staying at the Grand Hotel.

Lorenzo asks if they can get any other help.  Father Wolfwood says that sometimes direct divine assistance is available, such as when the party received a Greater Sacrament before battling the Chryssalids.  Additionally, other people can aid a plea for assistance, so the intrepid thief arranges a wildly successful party among the parishioners, who agree to help.  After Aleena and the parishioners complete their prayers, the Sword of Glory appears on the altar:

When wielded of one of true faith, the Sword of Glory is a +3 Broadsword that does triple damage against undead.  Sister Aleena puts aside her mace and sheathes the divine blade.

[OOC] D says, "That's pretty cool."

The party heads over to the Grand Hotel, where the concierge says that the Grey Wanderer is staying in the Imperial Suite on the top floor.  Apparently, the hermit is in the middle of some arcane experiment which has caused the other guests on the floor to flee in terror.

Lorenzo tries to sneak in, but fails his Spot Check, then fails his Save versus Magic.  Everything goes dark.

After waiting for a while, Nausicaä takes a look.  As she enters the Imperial Suite, the sorceress deftly sidesteps a descending magic net, which contains a motionless Lorenzo, and feels a lightning bolt coming on.

[OOC] S says, "Wait a minute, I know who this is!"

[As Nausicaä] S says to Ranme the Half-Insane Wizard, "Listen, we don't work for the Cat Dude."

[As Ranme] I shriek, "Don't lie to me!?!  [motioning toward Lorenzo]  I captured your pet koala!!  It's a well known fact that cats and koalas are allies!?!"