Movie Review: The Lost Bladesman (2011)

Although the Three Kingdoms period of Chinese history is a popular subject in East Asian media,  most epic dramas suffer from being overly melodramatic or underwhelming as actioners.  Starring Donnie Yen, arguably the finest martial artist in films today, I wanted to give a shout out to an under appreciated historical action flick that deftly avoids both problems, The Lost Bladesman:

In the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, few heroes loom as large as the legendary warrior Guan Yu.  Not only is he a peerless fighter, armed with an imposing signature weapon (The Green Dragon Crescent Blade (青龍偃月刀), though this may be anachronistic since there's no proof of that the guandao was invented prior to the 11th century), he's also seen as a paragon of loyalty and righteousness.  In fact, the dude is actually worshipped in many parts of East Asia (e.g., there's a shrine to him in every police station in Hong Kong)!

Thus, it it unsurprising that he has been celebrated in numerous books, films, video games and other media for two millennia.

Although Guan Yu is a historical figure, since he was popularized in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which is a mix of fact and fiction, many of his most famous tales of derring-do are myths.  Such is the case with The Lost Bladesman: Based on the fictional story of Guan Yu crossing five passes and slaying six generals, the film actually begins with the great warrior's funeral in 220 and is told by his frenemy Cao Cao, the prime minister of the Han Dynasty.

Quickly, the action reverts back 20 years to the Battle of Baima (白馬之戰), where Guan Yu temporarily allies with Cao Cao and defeats a common enemy.  The prime minister showers the warrior with title and treasure to try to win the latter's loyalty.  However Guan Yu stays true to his sworn brother, the rebel warlord Liu Bei.

Thereafter, Guan Yu battles his way back to rejoin Liu Bei's army, facing both deadly foes and cunning treachery.  However, it is treachery that ultimately defeats the undefeatable warrior, as Cao Cao muses at the end of the film that such a hero is ultimately a tool to be sacrificed by his sworn brother in such chaotic times.

As a period piece, The Lost Bladesman is a finely crafted reimaging of the source material, with lush cinematography, and avoids being ponderous or overly serious.  Donnie Yen proves his dramatic chops and carries the show admirably.  The feel of the movie is realistic and lived in.  Also, like a good Greek tragedy, the characters are driven by their strengths (duty and honor) into conflict, and Guan Yu's opponents are more than just 2D cutouts.

As an action film, this movie kicks ass, a lot of it:

As action director, Messr Yen is equally strong.  Each combat features different fighting styles and signature weapons.   Guan Yu is clearly a badass, but his feats never break the viewer's verisimilitude or cross the line into cartoonishness.

If you like Iron Age action films, The Lost Bladesman is at the top of the heap.  Plus, it's worth it just to see someone able to wield a guandao with such aplomb!

SC's Parting Shot: 9 of 10

Session XI, Part II

Afterward, the party meets with the Marquise de Courcy, who tells them that she has been contacted by someone who knows where the Marquis de Picard is being held.

[OOC] M asks, "So, why exactly is this our problem?"

[As DM] I say, "Well, the Marquis de Picard is the head of the Adventurers' Guild and has been generally helpful to the party."

To sweeten the deal, the Marquise de Courcy gives the party a Wand of Invisibility, 15' Radius (3 charges).


The Marquise then tells the PCs that they should contact Papa Midnite to find out more about Picard.  Immediately, K and S groan.

[OOC] K says to M, "Papa Midnite is a druid and a running theme in our campaigns is that all druids are dicks."

[As DM] I say, "Well, you know, you guys did screw up his business deal by blatantly lying to him and Gouverneur Đào."

[OOC] M asks, "Wait, Papa Midnite is a druid?"

[As DM] I say, "Yes, PCs are limited to the core four classes, but NPCs can be anything."

When the PCs meet with Papa Midnite and his business partner, Black Dynamite, Papa Midnite is smiling way too much.  Quickly, the party finds out why: in exchange for the information, Papa Midnite wants Zakalwe and Nausicaä to bark like a dog.

Zakalwe fails his Willpower roll but succeeds on a Charisma roll and convinces Papa Midnite that it is in his best interest that the Marquis de Picard is rescued.


The PCs find out that, after the Veiled Society got what they wanted, they sold Picard to a local crime syndicate that runs a gambling den out of a nondescript house in the outskirts of the city:

After some debate, the party decides to use stealth.  To get in, the PCs disguise themselves as servants.

[As DM] I say, "That picture is just for general reference, as slavery was abolished in Fantasy Vietnam due to lobbying from the Church."

Zakalwe tucks his dagger into his tunic, Nausicaä disguises her spear as a broom, and the Second Nameless Magic-User hides his bow under his cloak.  After the PCs convince the porter that they are the new maintenance staff, he takes them on a tour of the gambling den.  In the basement, the porter says they are not to approach the rooms in the southern half of this floor and leaves them in the servants'  hall to get ready for their shift.  

After the porter leaves, the PCs ignore the porter's warning and head out of the servants'  hall and take a left.  Trying to listen in on the first door, the party instead alerts the occupants, who enter the hallway with swords drawn!

The first round of combat is inconclusive, and two more gangsters come out of the next room!

In the next round, Zakalwe and Nausicaä miss their opponents, but the Second Nameless Magic-User rolls a Critical Success and drills a gangster with his bow!

Gangster #1 is slain!

[As Nausicaä] S says to Zakalwe, "Hey, get your butt in gear!  You're being shown up by a Nameless Magic-User!"

[As DM] I say, "You know, Zakalwe could pick up Gangster #1's medium sword."

After the fighter does so, he has more luck and cuts down another gangster!

Gangster #2 is slain!


The remaining gangsters throw down their weapons and surrender.  Quickly, the party finds Picard:

[OOC] M says, "There are *FOUR* lights!"

[As DM] I say, "Yep."

The PCs tell their prisoners to flee and tell the other gangsters that there are intruders.  Using the Wand of Invisibility, 15' Radius, the party escapes without much difficulty during the commotion.

Literature Review: Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson (1982)

In the annals of Fantasy literature, successful comedic works written to be intentionally humorous are rare, although unintentionally comedic ones can certainly be tear jerkingly funny.  Of the former, one of the cleverest standouts in the field is Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson by George Alec Effinger:

Spoofing the Barsoom Series (a.k.a. The John Carter of Mars Series) by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson follows the adventures of the titular character, as chronicled by her best friend Bitsy Spiegelman. A la John Carter, in this short story, Maureen "Muffy" Birnbaum is mysteriously whisked away to Fantasy Mars, finds she has fantastic abilities due to being an Earthwoman and slays a giant monster with her sword (nicknamed 'Old Betsy').

One small issue, however, is that, while Muffy may have been transported to Mars, her clothes were not:

I was cold because-we're just going to have to live without ice, I think, Bitsy, because this hotel probably has a goddam policy against it or something, so just pour it in the glass-I was standing there in the proverbial buff!

Despite being au naturel, Mlle Birnbaum saves Prince Van and gets marginally more clothes.

Messr Effinger writes a lively yarn, filled with easy wit, that turns the Damsel in Distress trope on its head, by having the Martian prince be helpless.

Furthermore, much of the comedy derives from the fact that, flying in the face of the genre conventions, the protagonist is a beautiful, well-meaning and affluent young woman who's obsessed with fashion and the like, a la Cher from Clueless (1995):

For example, Mlle Birnbaum is shocked, I say, shocked, to find out that there no malls in Fantasy Mars!  Consequently, the reader gets a two-for-one deal on satire, as the author deftly skewers both Sword & Planet and privilege at the same time.

Unsurprisingly, the inspiration for the story came when Messr Effinger was enjoying a cheeseburger, fries and large coke at a college hangout and overheard the conversation of four Tulane co-eds:

The conversation ran the entire emotional gamut from sweaters to-God forbid-Peter Pan collars.  And they spoke in frequent italics.  You could just hear them chiming.

Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson is great fun, and, as you might expect, as Mlle Birnbaum continues her misadventures in later stories throughout other genres, including Isaac Asimov's Nightfall and Lovecraftian Horror!  A humorously original gender-swapping take on Planetary Romance, this short story is a modern classic and a well worth a read!

SC's Parting Shot: 9 of 10

Session XI, Part I

Normally, I'm not keen about roleplaying one (DM) on one (Player), since it feels to me like mental quickdraw with the contest weighted unfairly in favor of the DM.  However, since I've played Arkham Horror solo before, I knew that the board, by taking discretion away from the DM, would rebalance the scales.  

S and I had a lot of fun last session.  A couple of the house rules that worked really well were:

o The fog of war: limiting how far S could see on the board added a lot of tension to the game, as every Movement Phase became a risk/reward calculation!

o The randomized drawing of Mythos cards: by only drawing a Mythos card, with a Doom Track of 12, S knew the game would run between 12 and 48 rounds (later extended to 14 to 56 rounds, after she used two Elder Signs). Consequently, S became increasingly nervous after round 25!

For the last session, I credit the PC with experience for one major achievement:

•  saving the city.

This brings Nausicaä up to 3rd level!

M, a new player, joins the group!  Like D, M is a long time gamer and like D and K, he is an old friend of mine.  M is playing the Second Nameless Magic-User:

o  Str 12, Int 17, Wil 17, Dex 16, Con 14, Cha 11

o Base HP: 7

o Proficiencies: Additional encounter HD, Bow

o Skill Points: Has one point each in Misdirection, Research, Medicine, and two points in Stealth

[As DM] I ask M, "What spells will you prepare before the session?"

[OCC] M says, "Burning Hands..."

[OCC] S says, "Hey, I don't have Burning Hands.  How about we trade?"

[As DM] I say, "Whatever PCs do is their own business."

[OCC] S says to M, "Okay, I'll take all the spells in your spell book."

[OCC] M says to S, "Okay, I'll take all the spells in *your* spell book."

As High Priest Kanye flees Buôn Ma Thuột, the Lieutenant-Gouverneur, who turned around and returned to the city instead of stopping the prison break at Terrible Injustice Prison, moves to intercept.

Suddenly, a war elephant ridden by a fierce warrior woman appears!

The war elephant ROFL-stomps the Lieutenant-Gouverneur and his elite bodyguard!

The fierce warrior woman stares at the party for a few moments and then motions them over, saying, "I don't have all day, you know.  Hurry up and come over here, so I can kill you!"

[OCC] M says, "Okay, I go over there."

[OCC] K says, "Well, given this campaign, I'm pretty certain that that would be an instadeath."

The party flees!

Culture: Onigiri (~700)

For over a millennia, the Japanese have enjoyed arguably the greatest "on the go" food in the world,  Onigiri (お握り).   A simple combination of rice, a filling and a bit of salt (often wrapped in seaweed and sometimes accompanied with a topping) produces a taste sensation that serves as everything from a yummy snack to a healthy and filling meal.  In the words of the immortal Strong Bad, on a scale from one to awesome, Onigiri is super great!

Since at least the Nara period (奈良時代), people in Japan have rolled rice into balls for ease of consumption.  Nowadays, onigiri is also often shaped as a triangle, especially when sold in convenience stores, although balls are common for bento boxes:

As you might expect, people have been doing creative things with the presentation of onigiri for a long time:

Among the most awesome inventions from the Land of the Rising Sun, the popularity of onigiri has  understandably spread through out East Asia and even reached California, which is unsurprising as the aptly named Golden State often serves to introduce great ideas to the rest of America.

Here, we see no less a personage than the ridiculously badass Kibagami Jubei enjoying one of these suckers!

If you're in the mood for some onigiri yourself but don't know where to start, check out this video from the hi*LAR*ious series Cooking with Dog:

やった !

Session X, Part II

For reference, here is the map for Arkham Horror again:

While the depressed-looking teddy bear mopes in a corner, Ranme says that, by trying to asphyxiate the cultists at the Silver Twilight Lodge and getting them to reveal themselves by their summoning a Dark Young, the party has forced the Veiled Society to accelerate their plans: now they are using the Fire of Asshurbanipal to open a series of portals to the Other World, summoning hordes of monsters, though he doesn't know why or where the cultists are located.

Ranme doesn't know but he gives Nausicaä an Elder Sign!

Nausicaä uses the Elder Sign to bring the Doom Track down by one.

[OOC] S asks, "So, where would I go to make some money?"

[As DM] I say, "Well, probably the best place is the Newspaper, as that's where you can get a Retainer."

At the Newspaper, the party first gets $5 for a story and then they get a Retainer!  Unfortunately, it only lasts for two rounds.

At Independence Square, Nausicaä makes a Spot Check and notices her friend Mlle Farahani!

[As Mlle Farahani] I say, "As you may know, the Persian Empire and Roman Empire are rivals and the Roman Empire and Việtnamese Empire are allies.  So, if, hypothetically, an ancient cult discovered an ancient jewel that was a terrible magic artifact, the Persians might hypothetically allow such an artifact pass through their lands if it was intended to be used in Việtnam."

[As Nausicaä] S says, "Yes."

[As Mlle Farahani] I say, "Moreover, say, hypothetically, there was an agent of the Persian Empire who was instructed to allow such an artifact to do as much damage as possible.  However, say this hypothetical agent realized that no reasonable person could stay idly by in the face of this kind of danger.  While this hypothetical agent could not intervene directly, she could perhaps provide intel to a third party."

[As Nausicaä] S says, "Yes."

[As Mlle Farahani] I say, "This hypothetical agent might tell a hypothetical third party that, for help, they should visit Ma’s Boarding House, Velma’s Diner, The Witch House, and Train Station."

After surreptitiously looking around, Mlle Farahani also gives Nausicaä an Elder Sign!

[As Nausicaä] S says, "Thanks for nothing."

[As Mlle Farahani] I say, "Yes, nothing happened here."

Nausicaä uses the Elder Sign to bring the Doom Track down by one.

At the Train Station, the party finds the Marquise de Courcy, the Roman ambassador to Việtnam.  The Marquise de Courcy asks the party for their help to rescue the Marquis the Picard.  After they agree, the Marquise lets her bodyguard join the party for the duration and gives them $5.

Nausicaä gains +1 to Lore and +1 to Fight!

• The PC's new stats:  Max Stamina 5, Max Sanity 6, Speed 2, Sneak 2, Fight 4, Will 2, Lore 3, Luck 2

At Velma's Diner, the party sees B.E.G., the Korean bards from the Gouverneure's New Year's Party.    Nausicaä says that she remember them from the party and B.E.G. replies that it was nice until the nobles starting fighting.  They continue that there are a lot of strange things going on in the city and that they would like to help.

[As Nausicaä] S asks, "Okay, how can you help?"

[As B.E.G.] I say, "Well, things always seem to go our way."

After B.E.G. joins the party, Nausicaä gains +2 Luck!

• The PC's new stats:  Max Stamina 5, Max Sanity 6, Speed 2, Sneak 2, Fight 4, Will 2, Lore 3, Luck 4

In the Graveyard, the party sees a homeless guy babbling about terrible vistas of reality and non-euclidian geometry!  When Nausicaä asks about the Veiled Society, the homeless guy stares into space and says he sees an ancient cult at work in the city.

[As Nausicaä] S asks, "Where is the Veiled Society hiding?"

Suddenly a gate opens at the Graveyard and the party is automatically sucked into the Other World!

[OOC] S says, "NOOOOO!!!!!!"


In the Other World, Nausicaä finds another spell, Shrivelling!


In the Graveyard, the party sees a wizard who introduces himself as Egg Shen.

Joining the party, Egg Shen says that if the party can get within one location of the Fire of Asshurbanipal, he can tell them which direction to go.


When making another round of the board, as the party enters the Merchant District, Egg Shen says he can detect the Fire of Asshurbanipal in the Unnameable.  Heading there, Nausicaä sees the strange shack where Rain and Subotai were mind controlled.  After she avoids the mind control, out of the shack pours dozens of cultists, led by their High Priest!

Nausicaä casts both Wither and Shrivelling, and gets exactly enough successes to defeat the cultists!


Cultists #2-15 are slain!

Their High Priest flees!

[OOC] S says, "Hey, stop using the Fire of Asshurbanipal!"

Warfare: The Chariot (~2000BC)

Somewhat forgotten nowadays, the chariot was the first great weapons platform, remaining king of the battlefield for over a millenia:

Pharaoh Ramses II at the Battle of Kadesh

The chariot was an evolutionary development from earlier animal drawn vehicles such as wagons and carts.  They served first as mobile archery platforms and later, with the development of scythed chariots, on the charge they were able to deliver devastating shock attacks.  The chariot's speed and mobility were game changing and Maneuver Warfare became possible for the first time.

As you might expect, the history of the chariot is intimately tied to that of the horse.  Since an increasing amount of evidence supports the hypothesis that horses were domesticated in the Eurasian Steppes during approximately 4000–3500 BC, it is unsurprising that the first true chariots were probably invented near the Ural Mountains around 2000 BC:

The steppe nomads likely used their new war machines for raids against other peoples, leading to the widespread dissemination and adoption of this new technology from China to Britain.

Coming at a time in the horse's domestication prior to the possibility of cavalry, these war machines were nevertheless able to harness equine speed and agility with the help of several Bronze Age inventions, including the invention of lighter spoked wheels.  The chariot was a single axle carriage drawn by a team of one or more horses.  The crew consisted of  two or three people: a driver, an archer/commander and sometimes a spearman/shieldman.

Another Bronze Age invention, the compound bow, helped the chariot to dominate battlefields by being able to deliver armor-piercing strikes up to 100 meters away and killing shots against unarmored foes up to 300 meters away.  Since the chariot provided the compound bow with a swift, agile, stable and raised firing platform, it was a marriage made in Hades.

The cost of the horses and the chariot were prohibitive to all but nobility and royalty, and unsurprisingly the chariot became a symbol of power and status.

With the further domestication of the horse, the chariot was eventually superseded by cavalry around the 5th century BC, although the Celts continued to use them into the 1st century AD.  Nevertheless, the first great weapons platform's influence was profound and can be felt to the present day from the latest combination of mobility and firepower dominating warfare, the Main Battle Tank.

Session X, Part I

For the last session, I credit the PCs with experience for two major achievements:

• saving the Baroness.

• solving the mystery of the Veiled Society.

Since S was the only player able to make this session, I decided to try something a bit different: we used a simplified version of the board game Arkham Horror for the strategic direction of the game, and used my Olde School D&D homebrew for the roleplaying.

Arkham Horror is one of my favorite boardgames!  Among its many virtues, AH has many RPG-type elements, which isn't surprising since it is based upon the all-time great Call of Cthulhu RPG.  For example, one of the Investigators in AH is Harvey Walters, who is also the sample character in CoC used to illustrate character creation.


My simplified rules include:

• Rather than using the sliders for variable stats, the PC has defined stats.

• The PC's starting stats: Max Stamina 5, Max Sanity 5, Speed 2, Sneak 2, Fight 2, Will 2, Lore 2, Luck 2

• The PC can see up to one location away, but cultists and monsters may be hidden to try to ambush
o The PC can move up to two locations per round, but going farther makes it easier for cultists and monsters to ambush

• Every 1d4 rounds, DM draws a new Mythos card.
o This adds 1 to the Doom Track
o Instead of distributing clue tokens, distribute money
o If a gate opens whilst PCs at that location, they are automatically gated to the Other World and must spend 2 rounds getting back


Here is the map for Arkham Horror:

Background: The PC begins in Southside, where the party fled from the Silver Twilight Lodge and was attacked by the Dark Young!

PC’s Goal: Find out the Veiled Society's nefarious plot and stop it before the Doom Track reaches 12!


Locations:

• The fort is Administration
• The Police Station is Police Station
• Ye Olde Magick Shoppe is Ye Olde Magick Shoppe


NPC locations:

* Known to the PC

• Father Wolfwood ->  South Church
• Ranme ->  Curiositie Shoppe
• Mlle Farahani ->  Independence Square
• Brock Samson  ->  Arkham Asylum
• Lieutenant Tran ->  Police Station


* Unknown to the PC

• Dogmeat ->  Woods
• Bolo ->  Ma’s Boarding House
• B.E.G. ->  Velma’s Diner
• Egg Shen ->  The Witch House
• Papa Midnite ->  Graveyard
• The Marquise de Courcy ->  Train Station
• House Planter ->  Bank of Arkham
• House Builder ->  Uptown
• The Veiled Society ->  The Unnamable

Beginning in Southside, Nausicaä can see monsters in French Hill, a group of men in Uptown bearing a Unicorn sigil, and $1 in the Historical Society.  The party heads over to the Historical Society to grab the cash, and has an encounter where S needs to pay $3 and make a Luck (-1) check for a spell, which she pulls off, picking up Wither!

Heading back to Southside, Nausicaä no longer sees the group of men in Uptown.  Moving to Uptown,  she sees the men with the Unicorn sigil have moved to Miskatonic University and that there's $1 in the Woods.  Heading to the Woods, she comes across a canine that's scared a man up a building!

[OCC] S says, "Do we have any dog treats?"

[As DM] I say, "No, but Rain has some bulgogi."

After giving the bulgogi, Dogmeat joins the party and Nausicaä gains Max Sanity +1 and +1 to Fight!

• The PC's new stats:  Max Stamina 5, Max Sanity 6, Speed 2, Sneak 2, Fight 3, Will 2, Lore 2, Luck 2


At the Science Lab, a crazed professor charges out, pulled an ancient relic from his desk and begins uttering eldritch phrases… and Nausicaä is Blessed!

[As Nausicaä] S says, "Gee, thanks, strange professor guy!"

[As DM] I say, "Ha!  You have the Devil's own luck with these encounters!"

The entering the Unnameable, Nausicaä makes a Spot Check with a +10 penalty and sees the strange shack.  She orders Rain and Subotai to check it out, but they pause outside since they are now mind controlled.

[OCC] S says, "Great."

Heading north, Nausicaä sees House Builder and House Planter fighting in the Merchant District!  The garrison is trying unsuccessfully to separate them.


At the Curiositie Shoppe, the party meets Ranme the Half-Insane Wizard.  With him is a very depressed-looking teddy bear:

Ranme explains that, using the Apparatus, he transferred the soul of the test subject into the teddy bear.

[As Nausicaä] S exclaims, "Why would you do that?!?"

[As Ranme] I say, "For *SCIENCE*!!!!!!!!"

RPGs: The Princess of Greyhawk

Whilst exploring teh interwebs for early advertisements for Dungeons & Dragons, I came across this one from 1977 that I'd never seen before:

What?  TSR (short for Tactical Studies Rules, the publisher) used to use sex appeal to sell D&D?  I was taken aback, especially considering the stereotypical image of gamers.  However, upon further reflection, the above advertisement fits the contemporary zeitgeist: for example, here is the cover for the comedy text adventure game Softporn Adventure (1981), released by On-Line Systems (which was later renamed Sierra On-Line):

The lovely woman on the right is the legendary Roberta Williams, co-founder of Sierra On-Line and designer of the all-time great King's Quest series of graphical adventure games.

Now, if you say that there's no way that the woman in the D&D ad would play RPGs, it turns out that the model was none other than Elise Gygax, eldest daughter of Gary Gygax, co-creator of D&D!  Unsurprisingly, Elise was one of the first PCs in the Greyhawk campaign, the second setting developed for Dungeons & Dragons, after co-creator Dave Arneson's Blackmoor campaign.

Yes, folks, this foxy lady:

is the daughter of this guy:

Groovy!

Session IX, Part IV

The party finds themselves in a dimly lit cell tied back to back.  Subotai mentions wistfully that he could be getting another foot massage right now.  Suddenly, a sinister voice chortles, "We will show you a pain you never knew existed!  BWAHAHAHA!!!" as a scary looking man enters the cell:

The interrogator says, "Let's do this the easy way for me!  BWAHAHAHA!!!"  Then, after the Veiled Society cultist tortures everyone down to 1 hp, he gloats, "Now, we'll give you some time to think carefully about how you answer our questions.  BWAHAHAHA!!!"

Silence fills the room, until one of the Veiled Society magic-users starts screaming in rage down the hall after reading Nausicaä's cursed spell book.  The party laughs.

More silence.

The party hears footsteps approach.

Then, the wiry guy in the velvet suit enters their cell.

[As Zakalwe] K asks, "Haven't we met before?"

[As the wiry guy] I say, "Yes, I'm Rain.  I helped you save the village of Orlane from the Mask of Nyarlathotep."

[As Zakalwe] K asks, "Oh yeah."

The ninja frees the party and, as he leads them out of the cultists' underground hideout, he tells them that the Marquis de Picard hired him to investigate the Fire of Asshurbanipal.  Rain saw the Veiled Society kidnap the Marquis but was unable to stop them.  Then, the ninja tried several times to contact the PCs but kept getting intercepted by the cultists.


[OOC] K says, "Now, how do we get our stuff back?"

[As DM] I say, "Are you sure you want to do that?  There's a bunch of well-armed cultists and everyone is down to 1 hp, except for Rain."

[OOC] S says, "Are you kidding?!?  We're definitely going back for our stuff!?!"

Never get between the PCs and their loot.

After they are healed and re-equiped by Father Wolfwood, the PCs return to the cultists' hideout to steal back their gear.  For the map, I use another great one from Dyson Logos:

Rain leads the party to the storeroom contains the party's loot.  When Zakalwe tries to force the door open, he finds that someone on the other side is resisting.

[OOC] S asks, "Is there a gap between the door and the floor?"

[As DM] I say, "There's only a small half cm gap."

[OOC] S says, "That's all I need to see the target!"

Nausicaä casts Magic Missile, which darts from her fingertip and streaks underneath the door.


Cultist #1 is slain!


Quickly, the party runs inside, grabs their stuff and exits.  Then they decide to get some payback, barricading doors from the outside and setting them on fire!

However, the cultists cast a spell and a Dark Young bursts out of the ground:

Immediately, the party turns around and flees!  The gigantic eldritch horror stomps its way through the streets of Buôn Ma Thuột in pursuit.

Both Nausicaä and Zakalwe fail their Constitution rolls and the Dark Young catches up with them!

After two rounds, Nausicaä and Zakalwe are both down to 2 hp and poisoned but then Father Wolfwood arrives to turn the abomination!

[OOC] S says, "Ha!  I didn't expect to survive this session!"

Literature Review: Ozymandias (1818)

Just wanted to mention that this blog has reached the six month mark!  Woo hoo!

On the subject of time, in the annals of literature in the English language, few masterworks are as eloquent or as memorable as the sonnet Ozymandias by the great Romantic poet Percy Bysshe Shelley:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Although perhaps overshadowed in the minds of modern audiences by his second wife Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein, Percy Bysshe Shelley is considered one of the greatest lyric poets of all time, despite his tragic death in a boating accident before his 30th birthday.  And he shows why in Ozymandias.

In a friendly competition with Horace Smith, a member of Shelley's literary circle, both men produced poems named Ozymandias about Ramesses II, widely regarded as the greatest and most celebrated of the pharaohs of ancient Egypt, (Ramesses II is called Ozymandias in the Hellenic sources, from a transliteration into Greek of a part of his throne name), with both works using the same theme and story.  However, the character in the all-time great graphic novel Watchmen is named in reference to only one of these.

Written in loose iambic pentameter, Ozymandias explores the theme of monumental ambition struggling with and ultimately laid low by the relentless ravages of time.  Full of wry and ironic humor yet still simultaneously poignant, Shelley also uses vivid imagery to capture the imagination:

Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things

With such wonderfully evocative language, it is hardly surprising that Ozymandias, unlike the subject of the poem, has ironically become a timeless classic, inspiring and referenced in everything from music to video games.  Here is a wonderful reading of the poem by Bryan Cranston, in a trailer for "Ozymandias", the third to last episode of Breaking Bad:

In only 14 lines, Percy Bysshe Shelley creates a work for the ages.  If you've got a minute, take a look.  If you've got a few more, it's a fun and worthwhile exercise to think on its multiple meanings.

SC's Parting Shot: 10 of 10

Session IX, Part III

With bizarre clues and references piling up, the party decides to check in with Ranme the Half-Insane Wizard.

[As DM] I say, "You do remember that you guys owe Ranme a test subject for his experiment, right?"

[OOC] K says, "Oh yeah..."

[OOC] S says, "We've got to find the most depressed sad sack in the city."

After cruising the dive bars and a couple successful Charisma rolls, they convince a poor sod to follow them to Ranme's hotel room with some vague promises and hand the unfortunate soul over to the way too eager semi-demented inventor.

As Ranme straps the nearly unconscious test subject into the Apparatus, the Half-Insane Wizard tells the PCs that the Fire of Asshurbanipal is an ancient magic artifact of terrible power, a wondrous red gem that belonged to a mighty king of long ago, whom the Ionians called Sardanapalus and the Semitic peoples named Asshurbanipal.  The Fire of Asshurbanipal was last seen a millennia ago in a now lost city of unimaginable evil, the City of the Dead!

There are dark rumors that an ancient cult from Arabia Petraea called the Veiled Society has managed to find the City of the Dead, deep in the hazes of a haunted desert east of the Thamūd.

After the PCs regain their composure, they ask the semi-mad magician about the significance of the missing 16 year old girls.  The Half-Insane Wizard says that the Fire of Asshurbanipal is used for ritual magic and that sacrificing 16 year old girls during a blood moon greatly enhances the powers of the eldritch jewel.

The next blood moon is only a few days off.

The PCs ask Ranme where Veiled Society might be hiding their temple, and he replies that the temple is probably at an intersection of ley lines.  The party asks if the semi-mad magician can come up with a possible location and he agrees.  As they step out of the hotel room, the strange Apparatus starts humming and an unearthly light pours forth.

[As Nausicaä] S says to Zakalwe, "Don't look back!  Nothing bad happened!"


Exiting the hotel, the PCs watch a long column of Việt legionnaires heading out of the city.  Accompanying them is an ecstatic Spymaster, who keeps exclaiming, "Now the Caped Crusader will  finally pay!"  The masked vigilante has freed the thousands of Cham wrongfully imprisoned at Terrible Injustice Prison.  So, since Gouverneur Trần is still facing off against the Khmer, the Lieutenant Gouverneur is leading most of the remaining garrison at Buôn Ma Thuột to stop the prison break.


Next, the PCs check in with Mademoiselle Farahani for more information about the Veiled Society, but their Persian friend is uncharacteristically tight lipped.

Then, they decide to visiting the Suione Murder Machine at the insane asylum.  Brock Samson says that he was walking past the orphanage on an errand when he blacked out.  When he came to, he'd found that he'd murdered 50 people, but he doesn't know anything about the missing girls.  Then he breaks down and starts crying.

[As Brock Samson] I say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill those people!"

[As Nausicaä] S says, "It's okay, we know it's not your fault."

Brock Samson begins babbling about being visited by a purple bat.  Zakalwe asks if it was a person or a bat, and Samson replies that he's not certain but it was on the ceiling of his room.

[OOC] S asks K, "Do you think it was the Caped Crusader?"

[OOC] K says, "No, I'm pretty certain it was this guy:"

As they leave the insane asylum, Zakalwe finds a note in his pocket to meet at a certain time at an abandoned factory not far from the asylum.

[OOC] K says, "Of course."

After they enter the factory, the PCs detect movement around them.  They quickly deduce the trap and try to escape through a hole in the roof when Darkness, 15' Radius descends upon them!

A segment later, another magic-user hits the party with Sleep.  Zakalwe fails his Save versus Magic!

Another segment later, yet another magic-user hits the party with another Sleep.  Nausicaä fails her Save versus Magic!


When they wake up, the party finds that they have been taken captive by the Veiled Society!

Engineering: The Grand Canal of China (Completed in 609 and later extended)

Although China's best known engineering marvel is the Great Wall (萬里長城), equally impressive and perhaps even more important is the Grand Canal (大運河):

Stretching some 1,776 km (1,104 mi), the Grand Canal is the longest manmade waterway in the world.  The impetus for construction was that since China’s main rivers (the Yellow and the Yangtze) run west to east, the Sui Dynasty wanted a quicker and easier way to move foodstuffs from the fertile region around the Yangtze to troops on the northern border defending against nomadic tribes.

Their audacious answer was to combine and extend existing canals to create a new canal running from Hangzhou in the south to Beijing in the north.  In the process, the Grand Canal interconnected the Yangtze, Yellow, Huaihe, Haihe, and Qiantang Rivers, vastly improving China's transportation network.

As you might expect, the manpower required to build the Grand Canal was enormous: over six years, the government press-ganged five million people, mainly farmers, into service.  In addition, the human cost was equally massive: hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people died during that period, not only from the actual labor but also from famine when there weren’t enough people left to harvest the crops.

This forced labor to build the Grand Canal, renovate the Great Wall, and for other public works projects, as well as costly and disastrous military campaigns against the Korean kingdom of Goguryeo, led to the overthrow of the Sui Dynasty.

Nevertheless, the Grand Canal was a stunning engineering achievement that has had an important impact and that has helped to bring vastly distant parts of China together for more than a millennia.

Later dynasties would improve the Grand Canal, such as adding water-level-adjusting pound locks after they were invented in the 10th century AD:

Even until the present, parts of the Grand Canal are still in use, mainly as a water-diversion conduit, and the main commercial artery now spans the 325 miles from Jining to the Yangtze.

Still, if you had to pick the one engineering project that has affected the most people for the longest period of time, the Grand Canal has no rival, touching the lives of billions of people for more than 1400 years.

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